0.  Legend says that Slieve once brought the Sun down to the Earth in order to toast marshmallows. This holy icon, captured just after that moment, was later used for his holiest of EPs.

Hail Slieve.

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1. Slieve Donnard, although never particularly fond of the game, found himself in a 79 day match of tennis with Lao Tzu. They only volleyed once.

Hail Slieve.

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2. Slieve Donnard is known by cultures around the world. His Chinese name is 手斗斗 (shǒu dòu dòu) which translates roughly to "He whose hands are strong enough to hold two buckets in one"

Hail Slieve

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3. Slieve Donnard's first legal spouse was an Asteroid named Khudpiyapul. They divorced in 1961.

Hail Slieve.

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4. Slieve Donnard once traveled to the center of the Earth, only to discover that it was, in fact, extremely cold. He had not been dressed appropriately for the affair.

Hail Slieve.

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5. It is said that Slieve traveled backward through time, surfing the flames of the apocalypse to rejoin us in the present and bring with him a vision of a flameless future. After his famous apocalyptic flame-surfing session, Slieve Donnard is said to have gone straight to the Bronx for a slice of $1 pizza with his disciples.

Hail Slieve.

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6. Slieve Donnard, among his many miracles, is also credited with the foundation of the first-ever kindergarten just over 10,375 years ago. The students were all Mastodons.

Hail Slieve.

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7. Slieve Donnard was once asked rudely to "take a seat." He ran off with a lawn chair before vanishing into thin air.

Hail Slieve.

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8. Slieve once, in one of his more famous miracles, apparently turned water into a hoppy pilsner.

Hail Slieve.

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9. Slieve was apparently in a rock band called "Lighting Chariot" during the Bronze Age.

Hail Slieve

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10. Slieve Donnard was said to be responsible for the conceptual design for all but two of the animal species. The one to figure out which two is said to win $1 million.

Hail Slieve.

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11. Legends say that there were Legends of Slieve Donnard long before even the Legends of Slieve Donnard. Legendary.

Hail Slieve.

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12. Slieve Donnard spent a period of is youth building mountains from red clay. He is credited with the creation of at least 15 mountains.

Hail Slieve. 

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13. Slieve once cracked his knuckles so hard that the cliff face he was standing on broke sharply and suddenly, crashing into the Atlantic Ocean.

Hail Slieve.

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14. For some unknown number of the Eras of Donnard, his followers thought him to be - in part - a machine. This is only sometimes, drunkenly disputed.

Hail Slieve.

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15. People sometimes say that getting Deja Vu in a nightmare indicates that Slieve Donnard has just returned from a ritual voyage to the moon.

Hail Slieve.

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16. Slieve Donnard stole a mountain, but gave it away and emerged a saint.

Hail Slieve.

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17. Contrary to popular opinion, New Year's Day is actually October 28th.

Hail Slieve.

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18. Slieve's birthday is October 28th. 

Hail Slieve.

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19. Slieve Donnard is said to have cited "creative differences" with his younger brother, Slieve Gullion, and good friend Lesser Cairn just before the split of "Lightning Chariot." Lasser Cairn played the bass.

Hail Slieve.

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20. Slieve Donnard has been known to become uncontrollably excited when presented with strawberry-flavored Oreos during late-night television binges. "It's Shnack Time"

Hail Slieve.

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21. Despite his omniscience, Slieve Donnard admits to regularly forgetting where he has put his keys.

Hail Slieve.

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22. At the age of 14, Slieve Donnard successfully used Capoeira to fend off a group of aggressive howler monkeys attempting to use an expired handicap parking pass at Macy's.

Hail Slieve.

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23. Slieve Donnard smoked his first cigarette in 1549, behind the school with Tommy Reynolds, setting historical precedence for a generation of rebellious80s films just over 400 years later.

Hail Slieve.

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24. After swimming with dolphins in Indonesia, Slieve spent several Eras living underwater with a colony of blue whales in the South China Sea. During this time, he famously de-escalated some very tense political situations during and after the Battle of "AAAOOOEOOAOOOIOA"

Hail Slieve.

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25. During the Cold War, Slieve, being too busy working on his 9th dissertation on the feasibility of maintaining unified consciousness while uploading to a quantum-dublion-interfacting-matrix, he didn't have any time to visit the U.S.S.R. before its collapse. It's one of his only regrets.

Hail Slieve.

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26. Slieve Donnard has never taken an elevator.

Hail Slieve.

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27. Slieve alleges that he has never set anything on fire by accident. Scholars are unable to substantiate this claim.

Hail Slieve.

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28. Slieve once tried to smuggle himself into Germany using the fake name "Steve Donnard." It didn't work.

Hail Slieve.

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29. During is brief, but prolific 6-month stint on Twitter, Slieve Donnard is quoted, saying"And from this day, there shall be no rubbing of Zao in the bathroom." So it was Twitten.

Hail Slieve.

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30. Slieve Donnard, like wine, is said to get better with age. Praise be to his Eternal Vintage.

Hail Slieve.

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31. Slieve spent an unknown amount of time meditating in a 7th-dimensional state known to humans as Galabstractia. He literally cannot repeat what he learned there.
Hail Slieve

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32. In a moment of pure understanding, Slieve Donnard once returned and restored the sound to a broken laptop owned by Javier McNamara. The moment was celebrated by a traditional ceremonial gathering of 145 participants that honored the miracle by ripping the rug out from under Javier, much to his pleasure. 

Hail Slieve

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33. Slieve Donnard is said to look nothing like his younger brother, Slieve Gullion. Despite the claims of ancient tales of their both being born on the very same night, Slieve Donnard is actually several infinities older than Slieve Gullion and is mildly irritated if referred to as a twin. The two brothers have never seen eye to eye, especially since the split of Lightning Chariot. 

Hail Slieve

 

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34. Slieve Donnard is said to have initiated Brother Bull into the Church/Bank/Decentralized Autonomous Cult of Donnard by challenging him to an arm wrestle and winning handily... with his finger.

Hail Sleive

 

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35. It is Known that Slieve Donnard, being eternal, has been spotted across millennia. Scholars of Donnard suggest that one can often tell the Slievean Era simply by the hairstyle being sported by his holiness.

Hail Slieve

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36. It is only rumored in whispers, but commonly known that one Epoch of Donnard was known as 'The Fugitive Era'.

Hail Slieve

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37. It is a little known fact that Slieve Donnard once stopped by to visit Adam and Eve during their whole drama, befriending both the Snake and the Apple along the way. If not for Slieve, the world may have forgotten that the forbidden fruit was of a pink lady variety.

Hail Slieve

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38. Slieve has, on several occasions, rescued his own grandmother from an active volcano while she was just an orphan.

Hail Slieve

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39. Slieve spent the Summer of 1847 by an oasis in the Gobi desert disguised as a cactus. Many followers thought this to be some sort of a test, a message, or perhaps some sort of a metaphor. In fact, he just wanted to enjoy life as a cactus.

Hail Slieve

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40. Slieve Donnard's favorite living being is the humble housefly.

Hail Slieve

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41. Slieve Donnard began sporting the Golden Halo of Excellence long before it came into fashion. This particular picture was dated as far back as 400 B.C.

Hail Slieve

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TO BE CONTINUED ...